Growing up, I was an extrovert. I had no trouble making friends, and I was the child who was awake when other kids were asleep at night. I loved interacting with people of all ages, and my confidence was soaring.
Fast forward to adulthood and I’m almost unrecognizable to those who knew that version of me.
It’s not like I didn’t notice the changes as they happened, and I spent quite some time trying to find the reasons behind these changes. I’ve concluded that my current personality is a culmination of dramatic events during puberty, an isolated adolescent life, and growing up in a strict home.
From the bubbly outgoing little girl I was then, to the homebody I am now, I have certain events (and lack thereof) that I can now point to and recognize that that’s when I started becoming who I am now.
I remember having a conversation with my parents, both having happened at different points in time, and they both said something along the same line – I used to be so confident, and they don’t understand how I became this person I am now.
That’s not to say I’m not a confident person, because I also believe that confidence is what you make it, and I’m confident in who I am as a person, so it took me quite some time to realize that they actually meant that I used to be more outgoing and more out there if you may. I also used to be more confident in the decisions I made.
I’d like to think that growing up, we all experience some changes, and in situations like mine, the things we experience may change our personalities completely. With my overthinking nature, I found myself on the internet trying to figure out this phenomenon.
I still think it’s just a part of growing up by the way.
I didn’t quite find the answer I was looking for, but I did find out about my personality in its entirety. I am a big believer of personality tests because of how accurate they tend to be, and I’ve taken quite a lot over the years, but none of them stood out quite like the 16Personalities one.
It gives such an extensive breakdown of personality traits based on a couple of questions they ask you. The questions are a basic self-evaluation, and the results explore your character’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as your character’s behaviours in different areas of life.
Navigating relationships, both romantic and platonic, has become harder for me over the years, and having my personality broken down for me helps me to at least understand why I am the way I am.
And how I can possibly work towards being better in the areas I feel could use some improvement.
Another favourite of mine is The 5 Love Languages Quizzes. Not only am I able to see what my love languages are, but having those around me share their results with me means I’m able to love them the way they want to be loved.
It’s 2022, and love languages have definitely gotten a spotlight in the more recent years. The key to a relationship is putting in effort, but it’s useless if that effort doesn’t match that person’s expectations of effort.
What I love about platforms like these is that they have plenty of other tests to test different things. For instance, you can also take a test to find out your apology language. What does someone apologizing look like to you, and can you confidently say that you know how those around you want to be apologized to?
My point here is that there is value in knowing how you are as a person, as well as your expectations. It’s helpful in navigating life and people, not just in romantic relationships as well.
I believe that effective communication isn’t just about listening and talking things out, but it’s also about navigating communication based on the other person’s expectations of you and your dynamic, and personality tests go a long way in helping make that happen.
You can get the 16Personalities Test here.
You can get The 5 Love Languages Quizzes here.
*NB This is not a paid post. These are just my views.
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